duotoned

This blog does not have any kind of consistent theme other than text posts with me bitching about how hard it is being an adult. The rest is random crap that I like or stuff that makes me laugh.
Because I've had a lot of people ask, here's the instructions on getting back the limited edition black dashboard for the bp oil spill that tumblr pulled last year.

xelcior:

commanderabutt:

fagsindubai:

Friendly reminder  ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ) that if you don’t sleep with someone for the sole reason that they’re HIV positive then you ARE being discriminatory towards a human being with a disease and you’re scum of the earth 。◕‿◕。 It’s basically as bad as saying you couldn’t love somebody with cancer. Respect people’s feelings. (◕‿◕✿)

image

"Give yourself HIV, asshole.
Do it or you’re scum.”

icouldgoforaburrito:

duotoned:

duotoned:

Jen and I scored the jelly belly flavors

Update because we started eating the combos:
Life changing: Tiramisu, Rainbow Sherbet
Good: Lemon Meringue Pie
100% Accurate even though we don’t really like it: Root Beer Float
Bad: Blueberry Muffin, Raspberry Mocha

You’re welcome Tumblr. We did this for you.

icouldgoforaburrito:

duotoned:

duotoned:

Jen and I scored the jelly belly flavors

Update because we started eating the combos:

Life changing: Tiramisu, Rainbow Sherbet

Good: Lemon Meringue Pie

100% Accurate even though we don’t really like it: Root Beer Float

Bad: Blueberry Muffin, Raspberry Mocha

You’re welcome Tumblr. We did this for you.

“Smelsey’s dear friends Lucy Caboosey and Tits McGee couldn’t stand to see their friend so upset. They loaded up their chariot led by Sir Oliver, Duke of Kittykins and set forth to the land of cheese. It was not any easy trip. Lactose Intolerance and lack of supplies made the journey very challenging. Also, the stopped off in Tits McGee’s hometown to enjoy a fine ale or several… Onward they fought until finally they decided to use their secret weapon. Mighty Kevin the Brave of Jamaica had joined the fight! He placed a holy joint on the back of their chariot and those motherfuckers rode on. Like Nelly style. They quickly made their way to the dungeon as Kevin “took care” of the evil Queen. But not like in a sex way. Smelsey, Tits and Lucy quickly made their way back to the chariot. Brave Kevin told them to go on without them but ummm no. He was needed when they went back through Tits’ home town. And they all lived happily ever after. I did that. For you”

– neonshinesthroughsmokeyeyes23 (via duotoned)

duotoned:

icouldgoforaburrito:

jackstroubleinatanktop:

once i scraped my knee in 3rd grade and a weird girl who was obsessed with horses was like “hold on” then she started crying and dropped tears on my knee then she was like “pegasus tears heal wounds”

this is normally a post I would call bullshit but I’ve met a horse obsessed girl before and I understand this post. Horse obsessed girls are the scariest kids ever.

Kelsey, care to comment?

SHUT UP, JEN. SOME OF US DIDN’T HAVE FRIENDS.